First date

Alright guys it's time for some first date tips. After you've picked out a beautiful (or maybe fat lol) young lady you'd like to woo, you're going to have to take her out to impress her. I don't know anything about cars but you're going to want to make sure your car is painted black with yellow lighting bolts on the side, have a taily gate thing, and be able to make that rev up noise very loudly. If your car doesn't go very fast, just go rent a car and apply above features. After you go over to her house to pick her up, you're going to want to drive wherever you're taking her VERY FAST. This will impress her. As for where to go, I suggest the movies. Don't go to a romance movie unless you just want to be friends with her. Go to something like James Bond or something with lots of sex. Not porn though. So after you get to the theater buy lots of food. This is so that you can eat some because movie theater food tastes delicious. Anyways, during the movie, whenever something sexual happens, stroke her shoulder, hold her hand, or hit her in the head or something, just keep it consistent. This is so that she will associate whatever action you do with sex. Afterwards, take her home.You probably won't get in her house or pants or anything just yet, but that's ok. We'll work more on it next time.

How to get the ladies

Ok guys, so my most requested topic has been how to get girls. Lol where do you all live your mother's basement or something? Anyway so make sure you've got cash and time and maybe a sweet ride before you attempt this or you'll just fail. Looking for a girl is like looking for a job. It is a long and hard (lol) process that will take a lot of time and you probably won't find something you want so you'll have to settle for whatever you can get. However unlike a job getting a girl makes you lose money not gain it. This is because you have to spend a lot of money on movie tickets and popcorn so you can fill awkward silences with explosions and buttery goodness. Anyways I'll write more on the first date later. That should give you a good head start though.